Young driver’s car insurer absorbs the market.

As young driver car insurers you’re no doubt aware that there are inventers; and then there are inventors. Those that sit down and brainstorm a piece of foolscap, or scribble complex looking diagrams and bits of muddled jargon on the reverse side of a beer mat, yet ultimately make someone, somewhere’s, life that much easier. That someone of course could be a young drivers car insurer too, so worth bearing in mind before mocking. And then there’s the person who lazily happened upon the idea of cutting off the tops of Wellington boots and so inventing, er, shorter Wellington boots. Or duck shoes. I think that’s what they’re called my young driver car insuring matey-Jim’s? Cut-down wellies, lethargically transformed by a pair of shears into a pair of PVC shoes. The things you see in the back of horticultural magazines, or garden centre bargain bins. That’s not innovation. That’s the result of a gardening accident. But it got a patent so it did young driver car insurers, and away they went.

Rather like a company called Farecla, who against all the odds are fobbing off the easily-led by ‘inventing’ a car cleaning product that really shouldn’t have seen the harsh light of day. Welcome to the world of the Farecla Uniball Foam Polishing Ball. A world that would quite simply spin of its convoluted axis if it were not for the previous, and fairly useful introduction of the variable speed hand drill. Which it needs to survive. By simply attaching what appears to be a bright yellow tennis ball to the business end of the home workshop favourite gives the unwitting a mandate to buff their vehicles to within a coat of their base metal. If you apply a little elbow grease that is. Which apparently Farecla also supply, should you be so bold as to enquire. Within minutes you’ll see the fruits of your polishing labour. Providing the sponge-like near-spherical industry revelation doesn’t part company with your vibrating tool. Consisting of more than a hope and a prayer, the Uniball is made up from hundreds of foam fingers, which, as the ball rotates at variable speeds, weave their valeting magic. For £14.99 you could get someone previously unemployable to give your motor a once over whilst you sit inside and do the crossword, or you could invest in the Uniball. Suitable for dangerously spoked alloys, headlight covers and general paintwork, the perfect gloss can be obtained in a jiffy. It’s supposed to come into its own around trickily-dynamic'd spoilers and bumper surfaces – the normally hard to get at places.

And just in case you were convincing yourself it was worth stumping up for, another (so that’s 2 now) reason hits you right between the eyes. In this time of recycling almost anything that’s been lived in, used, eaten, or in some way dead, we find the Uniball can be reincarnated after doing what it does. Only as the self same yellowy thing. But clean again. Bung it in a bowl of washing up liquid, then let it air – and off you go again. What I didn’t tell you, but left to your imagination (hence me writing it now as an afterthought) is that you obviously bring the foam orb to life in the aftermath of washing, and applying some form of polish to your motor. Otherwise you’re missing the point. And that isn’t like you. Usually you’re pretty quick on the uptake. The young driver car insuring one anyhow; otherwise you wouldn’t be here now, reading this ‘breaking car cleaning news’. Well done.

Date - 15/09/2006